April 28, 2012

It's been a very long time since I have written in this, but I guess I will more often. The last three years have been a roller-coaster of bullshit. As of now, my family doesn't speak to me. They believe I have chosen to be with Sarah and my family than to be with them, which isn't true. There was never a reason for me to choose one over the other; they made it out to be that way. They made that decision come. And I chose my girlfriend and her kids over them after mother and father decided to take my only mode of transportation from me when I was unemployed after being fired from a warehouse I was working in, making it almost impossible for me to get another job. I hate her for that. I have never felt more betrayed in my life. I can't dwell on it though, or else I will go insane. I've been a security guard for a total of over 2 years now, since there is nothing else I can do that makes this much money. The mines are all slowly shutting down, so there's no hope in that for anybody. Sarah will finish college in December, so maybe I will start then. I work night-shift, so I don't see anybody that often anymore. I can feel a strain coming over everybody, but there's really nothing I can do about it right now. I feel lost, with no direction home. This place doesn't feel like home anymore. I need to find a new place, to settle in new lands. West Virginia has run its course with me. I'm dubious about moving out of state but I feel like I'm not meant to be here, that I have a purpose somewhere else. That will all be determined at a later date.